


Knock Four Times Not Three!

by Kopikido



Series: The House on Mammoth Street [2]
Category: Interpol
Genre: Comedy, Gen, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 21:23:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1564574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kopikido/pseuds/Kopikido
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two OCDs, a food saviour and a medic.  Surely, they can co-exist perfectly in one house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knock Four Times Not Three!

**Author's Note:**

> Also appeared first on my Tumblr page and some sort of a sequel. Again, this is just a writing exercise so forgive me for any grammatical errors or if the writing style is a bit of strange.
> 
> *Done a few revisions since copying and pasting this from Tumblr.

The house on number 5 Mammoth Street, in which four men live in, stands near the University where most of them are students.  
This used to belong to Daniel Kessler's parents and when they decided to move to South America or probably somewhere warmer, they left the house to him.  
Daniel is currently taking Linguistics course and have a part time job in a clothing store. Since the property taxes and bills are too much for him to manage the house on his own, he decided to take in some housemates.

Enter Carlos Dengler who showed up one day with a long curly hair and a scruff.  
Daniel initially thought Carlos looked like a hobo and as he began to explain that he’s looking for fellow students…

“I’m taking Political Science course actually,” Carlos said, “and remember the time we were classmates in the History class? You were sitting in the front row, fourth seat from the right, wearing a grey jumper, dark blue jeans and black shoes. I remember that it’s also the time the professor said about the Holy Roman Empire and I have to correct him because he got the Chronology of events wrong and it’s also when one of our classmates’ pens leaked and the ink spilled and…”

Daniel was dumbfounded. Carlos turns out to be terribly sharp with equally terribly good memory. And so he let Carlos stay.

Eventually Carlos decided to cut his long hair short.

“To lose weight”, he says.

“Huh?”

“Never mind Daniel, you have no understanding of the calisthenics of things.”

While there’s an upside to Carlos’ sharp memory like remembering the schedule of the garbage collection, where to find the keys and stuff, Daniel soon found out why. Carlos had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

“Hey don’t worry I’m perfectly harmless. My mother had me tested and it’s just OCD they’ve detected so far,” Carlos said when Daniel mentioned it to him, “ Besides, you also got a bit of an OCD yourself from what I observed so don’t go pretending you’re Mr. Perfectly Sane.”

Paul Banks, a Literature student, was the next to arrive in the house. A bit quiet and reserved during his first few days but he got along well with Daniel. Regarding Carlos…

“I can’t believe you’ve let him share the house with us! Why?!” Carlos said exasperatedly, “His hair is messy, his clothes were not coordinated, he talks like some broken robot, he—”

“Carlos, Paul is a nice guy if only you'd stop picking on him,” Daniel answered.

Since Paul moved in, one of the major obstacles that Daniel and Carlos encountered is Paul’s sloppiness. While Daniel would quietly clean the mess, this is one of the usual causes of arguments between Carlos and Paul. But this is well compensated by Paul contributing most of the food in the house and most of the time, his contribution saved all three of them from starvation.

“Here,” said Daniel as he handed over a brown paper bag to Carlos, “Paul said this is your lunch.”

“Oh, uh, right.” Carlos replied reluctantly accepting the bag of food.

Despite Paul and Carlos’ differences, sharing the house between them is generally bearable as they could finally afford to treat themselves to little luxuries on student budget.

It would have been okay except…

“What do you mean we need another housemate?!” it’s Daniel turn to be annoyed. All three of them are in the living room sharing a big bottle of whiskey that Paul’s friend, who works in a posh restaurant downtown, managed to smuggle for them.

“I said, I just think it’s much better if we have another one sharing the house. And three is an odd number. ” Carlos said casually as he took one sip from his glass. “You know I hate it when things don’t come in pairs”

"I'm surprised you're not bothered to stay here," said Paul, "considering that this is house number 5 on the street."

"I'm actually NOT surprised, Paul," replied Carlos mockingly emphasizing the word not, "because if you're sober enough to notice, it's written as FIVE outside on a brass plate that Daniel religiously polishes every weekends and it's got four letters in it. And I've adjusted it perfectly well on the door with screws and superglue."

“Okay, okay, enough of that!” Daniel finally yielded, “but first and foremost of the rules of getting a new housemate: No females. I won’t allow your girlfriend to move in here, Carlos.”

“Which one?” Carlos flashed a devilish smile.

“Everyone of your girlfriends!”

“Don’t worry Dan,” Paul interrupted, “I’m pretty sure most of his girlfriends are trannies from the nearby gay bar.”

“Shut up Paul!”

Paul snickered. Daniel laughed hysterically.

For the next few days, Daniel placed an advertisement on the cork board in the student campus.

Wanted: Male Housemate

It would have been an easy task to find a fourth housemate.

If it wasn’t for Carlos. 

And strangely, even Paul.

“I can’t believe the sort of hell you two are putting me through!” Daniel slammed the door angrily after the last potential housemate left in a huff.

“Dan, the last one was a prick,” Carlos casually answered as he and Paul shared a lighter (in one of those rare moments when they are not bickering), “he brags so much about himself. Clearly, he's just lying.”

“And the one before that is one snotty barista I saw working in another coffee shop,” Paul added.

“Snotty? Uuugh!” Daniel shuddered. Paul may be messy with his things but at least he doesn’t pick his nose. Well, maybe not in front of Daniel. But still. God, the thought of that barista makes him want to go to the sink and wash his hands. And probably dip it in a vat of rubbing alcohol.

The doorbell rang.

Daniel opened the door since Carlos and Paul are too lazy to get up and it’s because it became his habit to do so.

“Hi.” was the man’s voice.

Daniel stared at him for a moment before speaking, “Uh, yes?”

“I was told that you guys are looking for a housemate. I’m looking for a place around this area.” was the man’s reply.

Paul and Carlos stood behind Daniel as they looked at the stranger.

Standing before them is a well built man with tanned skin, greenish eyes and dark hair.

Laurent Terzieff? Thought Daniel.

Marcello Mastroianni? Thought Carlos.

“Hey Sam! Good to see you buddy!” Paul reached over and greeted the stranger. They shook hands.

“Hey man, so this is where you live.” Sam smiled as he slapped Paul’s shoulder.

“Guys, this is Sam Fogarino,” Paul introduced him to Daniel and Carlos, “He’s one of our regular customers at the diner and that’s how we got to know each other.”

“Daniel.” Daniel shook Sam’s hand.

“I’m Carlos.” Carlos offered.

Daniel led them to the living room where they all sat down to talk.

“Like I said, I was told by some friends that you guys are looking for somebody to share this house with,” Sam continued.

“Are you taking a course in the Uni?” asked Daniel.

“Actually I’m a medical student taking a residency at the University Hospital,” Sam replied.

“When can you move in?” Carlos said.

Daniel stared at Carlos. For the first time, Carlos approves. Hallelujah!

They’ve made an agreement that Sam will move in next week and as soon as Sam bade goodbye and closed the door, Daniel asked Carlos:

“What made you decide to accept Sam here?”

“Well I thought he’d be a good choice. First, he knows Paul. Second, I think he’s a bit clean.”

“What made you say that?”

“I saw his hospital pin bearing the logo of the department of Surgery and I also saw some white spots on some of his fingertips. It’s an indication of his constant exposure to Hydrogen Peroxide, one of the chemicals used for disinfecting.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Carlos proved to be right on his judgement of letting Sam move in. Not only Sam provides the disinfectant (although Daniel still ends up doing most of the washing and mopping the floor) and Daniel’s vitamins, he is also handy in basic carpentry, first aid medicine, brewing home made beer and has a very effective way of breaking up any potential fist fight between Carlos and Paul.

“I just came from night duty and I want some sleep” he said one time when he heard Carlos and Paul arguing, “try to disturb me with your shouting and I’ll cut off your dicks with my scalpel!”


End file.
